Saturday, 28 May 2011

7 Days Not Out: Poobs VS The Breakfast Bin Lids

From what you’ve seen and heard of our beloved hero and his goliath appetite, nothing can prepare you for the epic cholesterol & garlic sauce-fest that our man Poobs embarked on this week.

From last Thursday, where the man mountain devoured his first full English breakfast bin lid, courtesy of our friendly neighbourhood Rat Van Lady, Poobs made it a quest to make it a full 7 working days of this Sandycroft delicacy.

“Working days only?” you say. Yes, I’m afraid he had the weekend off, but we’re sure he doesn’t rest easy. Rumour has it several cows have gone missing from local farms.

Anyway, for the non believers, here’s the weeks highlights in picture form:

Thursday: overseen by a guest fly

Friday: how lovingly he gazes at it

Monday: No bin lids, so double normal baps!

Tuesday: A true master at work!

Wednesday: Note same shirt as Monday, but different bap! + Sweets (unshared)

Thursday: Sizing up a slice

Friday: No Bin lids again! Double baps, extra sarnies & sweets (unshared)

Yes, that’s right folks, barring 2 days where the rat van was in short supply of bin lid baps (where we were forced to substitute for 2 smaller ones instead, though he did add a triple decker BLT sandwich to make up for it on the Friday), our champion chomper has certainly eaten his weight in breakfast produce.

Plans to end the week in style with a challenging double breakfast bin lid combo unfortunately went awry, when the stock of baps ran dry! But our hero Poobs will return and take on the man vs double bin lid challenge and more like it in coming weeks! Stay tuned.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Poobs VS A Salad?

I know.. I know, our hero has fallen from grace... "A Salad?", I hear you cry...

But it is true, but I had to report it, it could not go by missed without note. We're secretly proud of the self control and restraint our beloved Hero showed in restricting himself to a mere salad. So we'll keep this quick and just upload the image so you can witness, I do warn you that the following image may cause:

  • Nausea
  • Irritability and short tempers
  • Hostility
  • Homicidal impulses
  • Rapid loss of mental clarity
  • Amnesia
  • Kidney failure
  • Diarrhea
  • Muscle aching and weakness
  • Tingling or cramping in the legs
  • Inability to walk
  • Problems sleeping
  • Constipation
  • Impaired muscle formation
  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Temperature regulation problems
  • Nerve damage
  • Mental confusion
  • Liver damage and abnormalities
  • Neuropathy
  • Destruction of CoQ10, a vital nutrient for health
You have been warned, you may want to ask any young children, or people with heart problems to leave the room....

The face says it all...
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find a dark room to sit and rock in, while I try to erase this image from my mind...

Poobs VS The Rat Van: All Day Breakfast and Friends

Outside our place of work there is a little tiny Rat Van, ran by a rather attractive young lady, who like's to satisfy Poobs. Now before you all get up in arms, and start shouting "What about our Hero's loyal wife, Anna?", not in that way, get all of your minds out of the gutter, what this lady provides is Food, please note the capital F, that is not a typo, it's just that the type of food this lady brings into the world requires it.

For just the measly cost of £3.50, you can order from this delightful establishment an item only dreamed about and only ever created by the most adventurous of hung-over people, A Full-English Breakfast Bap... but that will be for another post, because this post is of a larger scale...

On this particular day, our Rat Van Lady had run out of Bin-Lid Baps, the required ingredient for one of these baps and our Hero was forced to order something else. Our Hero is a creature of habit, and thrown from this by the lack of baps, he went on an ordering rampage, ordering for himself, a Full-English Breakfast, a Chicken Burger and being such a loyal customer, our favourite lady even threw in a free slice of cake...

Now that doesn't sound much but lets put it into perspective:
2 full sausages, Slices of delicious bacon, a slice of black pudding, an egg, a huge amount of beans, some slices of tomato & a hand full of mushrooms all served, in a box all topped off with far too much GARLIC SAUCE & accompanied by 2 slices of toast, a home-made chicken burger and a delicious slice of blue-berry topped cake (also in the picture was a large £2 worth of juice from the local Co-op)...

Once again, I fail for words, so we'll fall back onto the pictures to do the talking for us:

Poobs VS Burger King's Triple Whopper & Friends

A not-so-rare lunch time treat, we traveled to the local Burger King, were Poob's in all his gluttonous glory has a secret...

Not written on any boards, never advertised and only ever talked about in hushed tones in the back rooms of only the shady food establishments, there is a burger, a King of Burgers.... The Burger King, Triple Whopper!

Weighing in at THREE flame grilled 100% beef patties, topped with crispy lettuce, creamy mayo, red ripe tomatoes, pickles and onions on a sesame seed bun, this bad boy is the ultimate in Franchised Fast Food Restaurant Burgers.

Now Poobs being Poobs would never be just satisfied with this measly treat, and as with all orders goes as large as possible. Burger King is the only place, that I know of, that still does SUPER SIZE over here in the UK and this is taken full advantage of. Be witness to the ultimate Burger King meal.....

Now normally, this would be the end of the post, but this is no normal blog, and no normal appetite, not filled and with the promise of a discount (via a coupon booklet that came with the meal) Poobs went back for seconds, bringing into the ring a kids meal, turning this match from a standard David VS Goliath into a Handicap match... we're just not sure who had the advantage, the burgers or the Poobs...

Guest Staring THOR the god of Thunder

Poobs VS The Monster Kebab

As promised, even if a little late, we have the next contender, The Monster Kebab.
From Micheal's Indian Restaurant & Takeaway in Thornton (Blackpool), this Kebab is the size of a small country containing chicken, shish & donner mixed and cooked on char grill, served on a hot Naan bread with Salad and dressed with chilli and garlic sauce, unless otherwise requested, and as we all know our Hero would never refuse garlic sauce.

This is the sort of thing you'd order drunk and not in full control of your senses, makes full grown men weep and puts hairs on women's chests.

Once again, this is best described in pictures, unfortunately we're lacking the in action shots of this one, although the images were lovingly provided by Poob's dear wife Anna.