Poobs VS Yet Another MacDonalds

There is nothing I can say here that will do anything any justice, there is no way I can big this up or make this the event of the year all I can say is...

Yet again Poobs frequents Macdonalds... yet again the staff behind the counter wonder where is family is when he takes his meal and sits down... yet again, they all look at each other when he sits down and demolishes the entire tray on his own... that's our Poobs!

Poobs VS 8 Sandwich Mega Deal!

Everyone can relax, you can stop digging the bunker in the back garden and looking for other signs of the apocalypse... for today Poobs was back into his usual stride...

Now Poobs still tried to argue he was still following his diet, he was spending less money, argueing that all of the sandwiches involved in the chicken and bacon orgy were all reduced... reduced in price!!

To his credit, he did enjoy this monster feat of sexy sandwich eating for under £4...

but as a first for our hero, not only did we capture the event in photograph form, we've also captured some rare footage of the man in action... so please, can we have a round of applause as we introduce you to the first footage of the Poobs!

Poobs VS A Diet

We have breaking news, Poobs today started a diet...

What can I say, the look on his face says it all... have you ever seen an unhappier fat man?

Poobs VS Burger King: The Remix!

Meet Poobs, 28 years old.... fed up with life, and the way things are going(1)...  Poobs decides to actually mix up his order at Burger King!

Forsaking his usual order of the Legendary Triple Whopper, our Man of the Moment, decided that he wanted a change, not something that happens in his life very often, instead he ordered for himself:

1 Double Whopper meal (super-sized) [including supersize Fanta and fries] 1600 calories
1 Double Cheese Burger 450 calories
1 Chicken Royal (with Cheese)  630 calories

that's a total of 2680 calories in one lunch time, that is 130 calories more than a full grown man should eat in an entire day!

at least he didn't go back for a kids meal this time I suppose...

Poobs VS Pizza Hut Buffet

Feeling down and low at the prospect of not going to see his favourite band (Megadeth BTW) at Sonisphere this year, an event that he has been looking forward to, since the moment it was mentioned, Poobs decided to drown his sorrows the only way that he knows how.... with FOOD!

Now we've not frequented our local Pizza Hut for many a moon, and our friendly waitress, who waits on us like no other, actually looked quite relieved to see us, possibly through fear that Poob's diet had finally gotten the better of him, but after being seen to our usual seats at the back Poob's unleashed his full fury onto the buffet with a total of 24 slices of pizza!

Let me put that into perspective for us mere mortals a Pizza is standardly cut into 8 slices of Pizza.. so that means that our Hero has eaten the equivalent to 3 at least Medium Sized Pizza Hut Pizza's! within a hours lunch break, so techincally with ten minutes transport each way, 40 minutes!


anyway, enough of me ranting about the capacity of this God of a man... the pictures!

Poobs VS All-Poobs-Can-Eat Indian

Sometimes to fully understand an animal, you have to view it in it's natural environment, so that's what we did with our man, Poobs. We ventured out, outside of standard lunch tie hours to a place we'd only heard tell of in stories and legend of ole'.

The Amantola All-You-Can-Eat Indian Buffet!

Now legend tells of how Poobs ventures to this mysterious venue of a Sunday lunch time, to take his fill (or until they kick him out because the buffet's over) of Indian food. Now as I'm sure we've discussed previously Poobs is not a man for the spicy food that is usually found within Indian cuisine, but what our Hero does enjoy is quantity... the more the better, and the clue is in All-You-Can-Eat name.

Due to the pure shock of the event I wasn't able to full chronicle the event in the manner it deserved, but I did manage to take a photo of each dish at various points, so remember that his is just a small glimpse into the world, but trust me a glimpse is all you need... Enjoy!

Poobs VS Colonel Sanders

Once again Poobs has ventured forth to KFC to prove to Colonel Sanders that he's got nothing on that menu that can't be mixed together and destroyed in one sitting.

Ok, it wasn't strictly Poobs and the Colonel in a straight up fist fight, so the title maybe a tad misleading. However, Poobs did manage to throw back the following calorie laden meal:

A Boneless Banquet meal ( three 100% chicken breast Mini Fillets, small Popcorn Chicken, dip, regular side, fries and drink.)
A popcorn Chicken Snackbox (popcorn chicken and fries)
and a Streetwise Wrap.

...and looked good while he was doing it!!!

Andrew 'Poobs' Smith: Putting the Sex back into eating.

Poobs VS Macdonald's 60 Piece Chicken McNuggets

Now as you all know by now, our Hero, is more than mere man, he is beast incarnate. This guy can chew through solid steal (trust me on this one, one day I'll have the bravery to photograph the state of his indestructible pens), so when we frequented our local MacDonald's the other day, we were quite shocked when the only thing the man of the moment ordered was a mere 20 Piece Chicken MacNugget Meal...

... Actually, let me clarify that, there is no such thing as a 20 Piece Chicken Nugget Meal, the meals only come in 3 varieties (4 MacNuggets, 6 MacNuggets & 9 MacNuggets), but they do sell a separate 20 Piece Chicken MacNuggets SHARING Box, so to accomplish this task our Hero ordered a SHARING Box, and then added onto his order a seperate order of Large Fries and a Oasis, coming to just over 1300 calories, now that doesn't sound much for our hero... and so we thought too, until he let us onto a little secret...

Poobs, had been to MacDonald's 4 days in a row, after work and had ordered the same thing on 3 of those 4 days, the other day he ordered one of the limited edition Taste of America burger... so even without that last burger that is 3900 calories worth of chicken nuggets and batter... over 3 days, that's not including what he had for lunch or dinner, or other various snacks throughout the day (pile of pens not included)...

Now, we weren't there with camera in hand for every visit, but we were there for the last one... so as always we have images...

Warning: Extra Burgers, Fry packets and empty drinks may of been added for dramatic effect in last image...

Poobs VS Table Manners

Now, when you think of Poobs, I know the last thing you probably think about is table manners or even reservation... but look closer, look back at our Breakfast Bin Lid posts, look at the concentration in his face, look at how meticulous way he carefully cuts up each Bin Lid into careful sections, with his trusty plastic knife and fork.

Now you may be thinking, "How very cultured", but to be honest, our man, Poobs, isn't thinking about being neat, he's just making sure he taht a single crumb of that heart-attack inducing feast doesn't escape the slobbering prison that is his mouth...

Just to put it into prospective, here's a few shots of our Hero, trying to eat a Breakfast Bap like a Burger...
oh and there were some cookies as well, but really, we both know they were just an aperitif for our Man in the Man-Sized shirts...

and just a warning, I find it's a lot easier to stomach if you try not to concentrate on the face, or the food, or the hands... actually, do yourself a favour just don't look at the images...